But surely there are other motives for writing, and they range from the desire for filthy lucre to the pleasure in doing the thing itself to the impulse to delight readers.
-- Robert Alter, "The Western Canon: The Books and School of the Ages", New Republic , October 10, 1994
What if I just want a little of both? That filthy lucre would really help with my debt and I get a great deal of pleasure in delighting my many many readers. If this is the case you say, then why haven't you written a blog in a while, hmmmmm?
Well, reason number one would simply be that I was out of town for the weekend staying in a house* in Vail. I was too busy exploring the many settings on the toilet, which probably cost more than most mid-sized sedans, to bother writing my blog.
(*I use the term "house" quite loosely as this abode was more of a mini mansion with a basement the size of my entire house. Said abode also contained furnishings and accouterments of the highest quality and expense. The above mentioned toilet, for example, had a sensor that would raise the lid as you approached, warm the seat for you, run a little exhaust fan inside the toilet, rinse your naughty bits thoroughly, and then proceed to blow them dry. And, of course, the toilet would flush itself. There was a flush button on the control panel, in case you needed a courtesy flush, where you could also fine tune the bunghole wash settings. Who says money can't buy happiness?)
Reason number two is a little less concrete. I neglected my blog when I returned from our weekend living in luxury because I started to feel as though my blog was a waste of time, or a distraction from what I should be pursuing... that filthy lucre. Is my blog simply yet another diversionary defense mechanism I have created to further my eschews with teaching? Whew! I know that at some point I will have to find a job. I know that my blog will not earn a single shiny penny for me. I know that writing this blog makes me feel better, but I know it is not getting me any closer to finding gainful employment. These feelings of guilt and shame can lead to a very serious condition detailed in reason three.
Reason three is due to a debilitating condition that has affected me before and led to the eventual abandonment of my previous blog. I am referring to B.P.A.** The cycle of B.P.A. goes as follows: 1)I start a great blog in a time of distress. 2) I enjoy the blog so I share it with others. 3) A select few enjoy my blog as well. 4) I want to continue the enjoyment of all parties so I spend a lot of time on the blog. 5) I then get super anxious about the amount of time devoted to said blog because I am trying so hard to keep it good... the B.P.A. rears it's ugly head.
I guess the good news out of all of this is that I do have amazing friends and family who encourage me to do what makes me happy, not just what fills my pockets with lucre. I can also make due with a working-man's toilet...for now.
(** B.P.A. - Otherwise know as Blog Performance Anxiety, it can be triggered by multiple factors including: shame/ embarrassment about having a blog, the lack of anything even remotely amusing occurring in one's life, and the fear that the audience will not think the material is interesting, become agitated, and hunt me down with torches and pitchforks shouting "Burn the monster, find her, she is so lame!!". There are medications that can treat B.P.A., but since they all cause itching, dry mouth, fatigue, anal leakage, dyslexia, projectile vomiting, and sexual side effects, I figured I was better off trying to heal on my own. Hopefully, my writing today means that I am on the road to recovery.)
What if I just want a little of both? That filthy lucre would really help with my debt and I get a great deal of pleasure in delighting my many many readers. If this is the case you say, then why haven't you written a blog in a while, hmmmmm?
Well, reason number one would simply be that I was out of town for the weekend staying in a house* in Vail. I was too busy exploring the many settings on the toilet, which probably cost more than most mid-sized sedans, to bother writing my blog.
(*I use the term "house" quite loosely as this abode was more of a mini mansion with a basement the size of my entire house. Said abode also contained furnishings and accouterments of the highest quality and expense. The above mentioned toilet, for example, had a sensor that would raise the lid as you approached, warm the seat for you, run a little exhaust fan inside the toilet, rinse your naughty bits thoroughly, and then proceed to blow them dry. And, of course, the toilet would flush itself. There was a flush button on the control panel, in case you needed a courtesy flush, where you could also fine tune the bunghole wash settings. Who says money can't buy happiness?)
Reason number two is a little less concrete. I neglected my blog when I returned from our weekend living in luxury because I started to feel as though my blog was a waste of time, or a distraction from what I should be pursuing... that filthy lucre. Is my blog simply yet another diversionary defense mechanism I have created to further my eschews with teaching? Whew! I know that at some point I will have to find a job. I know that my blog will not earn a single shiny penny for me. I know that writing this blog makes me feel better, but I know it is not getting me any closer to finding gainful employment. These feelings of guilt and shame can lead to a very serious condition detailed in reason three.
Reason three is due to a debilitating condition that has affected me before and led to the eventual abandonment of my previous blog. I am referring to B.P.A.** The cycle of B.P.A. goes as follows: 1)I start a great blog in a time of distress. 2) I enjoy the blog so I share it with others. 3) A select few enjoy my blog as well. 4) I want to continue the enjoyment of all parties so I spend a lot of time on the blog. 5) I then get super anxious about the amount of time devoted to said blog because I am trying so hard to keep it good... the B.P.A. rears it's ugly head.
I guess the good news out of all of this is that I do have amazing friends and family who encourage me to do what makes me happy, not just what fills my pockets with lucre. I can also make due with a working-man's toilet...for now.
(** B.P.A. - Otherwise know as Blog Performance Anxiety, it can be triggered by multiple factors including: shame/ embarrassment about having a blog, the lack of anything even remotely amusing occurring in one's life, and the fear that the audience will not think the material is interesting, become agitated, and hunt me down with torches and pitchforks shouting "Burn the monster, find her, she is so lame!!". There are medications that can treat B.P.A., but since they all cause itching, dry mouth, fatigue, anal leakage, dyslexia, projectile vomiting, and sexual side effects, I figured I was better off trying to heal on my own. Hopefully, my writing today means that I am on the road to recovery.)
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